Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Five Reasons The Rapture Did Not Occur

The Rapture is a belief among some Christians that they'll be godnapped to Heaven with little to no warning. Preacher Harold Camping predicted an earthquake would commence this prank on May 21, 2011. His ministry has raised millions of dollars by telling people they will soon have no need for millions of dollars. 

  • The Rapture did not occur because the Rapture will not occur 

  • False prophecy 

  • Nobody knows when the Rapture will happen 

  • There are no dead people in the clouds 

  • There will be no Rapture without zombies 

Upstanding citizens often confuse decent respect for a belief's existence with respect for its validity. There's a thick line in society blocking polite people from calling most ideas crazy, drawn at the intersection of those ideas' popularity and how big a knob they make you.

We found that Pet Rock was considered stupid but not crazy.

As you can see, there's a wide, and long-recognized gap between awaiting the Rapture and trying to raise money from it. But even the former deprives yourself. Most people bang the drum until they can't hear the band change its tune. The notion of being evaporated without notice was a hot idea to people in the 1600s, when the only hobbies were collecting different strains of pox and dancing the hey-nonny in puffy leggings. But you live in the 21st century -- an era of air conditioning, vaccines, and, need I remind you? Sofia Vergara. No matter how bad things get, there's more to discover, experience, and eat (unless your problem is famine). It's a rich world, and you have no reason to want to escape it, unless...oh my God, she's never coming back.

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