News you can use from the presidential book of secrets.

Publication: Sun
Date: 30 May 2011

The idea that there is a Presidential Book of Secrets is a popular conspiracy theory like Area 51, fueled by popular movies and such. The standard idea is that it has the information the United States is still keeping secret after decades or possibly centuries, but the Sun has decided it contains prophecies about the future as well.

Hey, it's fiction, Knock yourselves out.

The three secrets they share on the cover are:

• CIA says Bin Laden still alive
• When more jobs are heading your way
• How U.S. government dodges World War III

As you can see, this is a pretty magical book. I'd usually ignore this because it doesn't give anything specific in terms of dates, but it continues the rumor that Bin Laden is still alive, so I included it.