He Fought The Law Alert™: "Dog" in bloody barroom fight!

Publication: National Examiner
Date: 1 August 2011

It's the dog days of summer, so this afternoon the stories are all about dogs. The low rent Examiner tells us that low rent reality TV star Dog the Bounty Hunter got into a bloody barroom brawl.

And I always thought of him as a level headed and upstanding gentleman.

No, wait, I must be thinking of someone else. It'll come to me.

He Fought The Law Alert™: Nicolas Cage's meltdown.

Publication: National Examiner
Date: 9 May 2011

Welcome to gossip hell, Nicolas Cage! The 47 year old Oscar winner was arrested in New Orleans for public drunkenness. This was reported by several legitimate news outlets and is now being repeated by the low rent Examiner.

His bail was posted by Dog the Bounty Hunter.