Breaking news: Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony divorcing.

Publication: Huffington Post
Date: 15 July 2011

Trying to hide a story in the Friday news dump is not just for Washington D.C. anymore. Marc Anthony and Jennifer Lopez have decided to end their seven year marriage. To recap some of the stories of the past year in the gossip rags, Marc Anthony was allegedly not happy about her taking the job on American False Idol and in January she had an interview with the standard crap line "My kids saved me."

Maybe they saved her a bundle on car insurance. They sure couldn't save this drama queen's marriage.

Breaking news: Arnold Schwarzenegger and Maria Shriver separate.

Publication: Associated Press (via the Huffington Thing)
Date: 9 May 2011

Arnold Schwarzenegger and Maria Shriver have announced that they are separating.

Shit. I thought Kennedy girls put up with anything. Either she's grown some self-esteem or he is even a more miserable scumbag than I had previously imagined.

It could be both.

This is usually where I wish all concerned the best, but when Arnold became governor, I had work and then I didn't because he cut the community college budget.

I hope he contracts something slow and painful.