Weekly World News alert: Strange new pet... CatDog!

Publication: Weekly World News (via the Sun)
Date: 1 August 2011

The Weekly World News is trying to work the old magic with a pretty lame photoshop of a CatDog.

I saw this cartoon. It kinda sucked. I mean, it's no Invader Zim.

Emily says "Make me Bachelorette!"

Publication: Us Weekly
Date: 18 July 2011

Emily, the woman who accepted Bachelor Brad's on-air proposal only to dump him a few weeks later, wants to be the star of the next installment of The Bachelorette, where she gets to do the choosing.

Personally, I want her and all her ilk to be shipped to Monster Island where they can be chased and hopefully eaten by giant beasts from Japanese movies.

Sadly, her wish is much more likely to be granted than mine is.

Bells are Ringing Alert™: All the Kim Kardashian stories for the week.

Publications: OK!, Weekly Life & Style
Date: 18 July 2011

Fresh trash on Thursdays! Like Wills'N'Kate, Kim Kardashian is getting the "at least one story a week" treatment in the supermarket rags before her marriage. Unlike Wills'N'Kate, the date has not been set yet, though the rumors are it will be this summer, which means less than three months away. Here are the headlines.

• OK!: First look at Kim's wedding dress
• Weekly Life & Style: Kim's wedding panic!
  Last minute doubts
  family fights
  guest-list snubs
  the dress doesn't fit - 15 lbs. to lose!
  Did she jump into this too soon?

This follows the general pattern of the past few weeks. OK! has had headlines that paint the situation in a positive light, why Weekly Life & Style has been say it's going to be a train wreck.

Let me say this. Kris Humphries is a young millionaire in top physical condition having sex with Kim Kardashian, and I'm starting to feel pity for the guy.

How wrong is that?

Love Bird Alert™:Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez on vacation.

Publications: People, Weekly Life & Style, Star
Date: 13 June 2011

Fresh trash on Thursdays! Justin Bieber, the biggest star on the planet, and his girlfriend Selena Gomez were spotted on vacation this week and three different magazines went with the story. Here are the headlines.

• People: Justin & Selena: Young Love!
• Weekly Life & Style: Justin and Selena's sexy vacation
• Star: Justin and Selena HOT

If there is a spike in young female suicide attempts this week, this would be the most likely explanation.

Commenter #1 Karen Zipdrive sent me this picture and asked if it looked like Justin had a little... manly happiness in his swim trunks. It's hard to be definite given the angle of this picture and the cropping, but I know if I was in his situation, there would be some happiness in my swim trunks.

Just sayin'.