Bun in the oven alert™?: Joran van der Sloot gets a girl pregnant in jail!

Publication: Globe
Date: 4 July 2011

The last Joran van der Sloot update was back in April, but this week the Globe tells us her has gotten a girl pregnant while in jail in Peru. They also identify his as "Natalee's killer", a reasonable assumption but not a thing ever proved in court.

The Globe is proud that this is a "world exclusive". Of course, when you make stuff up, it's easier to have world exclusives.

He Fought The Law Alert™: Joran and his dad hid Natalee's Body in a Tomb.

Publication: National Enquirer
Date: 25 April 2011

When Joran van der Sloot was captured in Peru last year, the Enquirer and People put him on the cover, identifying him as Natalee Holloway's likely killer. Since then, the only magazine that has mentioned Natalee has been the Enquirer. This week, they say van der Sloot's dad was complicit in hiding the evidence. Here are the sub-headlines.

• Tossed her body in a corpse filled casket
• FBI finds murder details on his computer
  

Last June, the Enquirer said they had found her grave. That was a lie. In November, they said she was buried alive. No evidence there either, but that has never stood in the way of the Enquirer when there is a grisly story to be told.