On the rocks alert: Obamas' secret split.

Publication: National Examiner
Date: 25 July 2011

Ever since Clinton, the gossip rags have loved writing that the presidential marriage is in trouble, especially the Globe and the low rent Examiner. This week, Michelle has had enough and she is now living a life apart from Barack Hussein Lothario Obama.

The low rent Examiner and the Sun are the only two of The Only Ten Magazines That Matter that don't have online versions. This is because both are made on the cheap. Still, we are supposed to believe the low rent Examiner is able to dig up scoops on two of the best protected people on the planet.

The Sun only expects us to believe in the End of the World about six times a year and there's a Bat Boy who was found in a cave.

Meanest story nominee: Michelle storms out!

Publication: Globe
Date: 11 July 2011

If we were to accept the word from the AMI kennel, Michelle Obama is constantly in a raging bad mood, the American equivalent of Camilla Parker-Bowles. Here are the headlines.

• Hates life in the White House
• Shocking fights with Prez
  

On their website, they add the detail that she is moving out and taking the girls back to Chicago with her.

This is a nominee for Meanest Story of the Week.

Meanest story nominee: Michelle in a rage over Barack's other women.

Publication: National Examiner
Date: 23 May 2011

Stories that the president is cheating on the First Lady has been popular in the AMI kennel for some time now. Of course, it was true when Clinton was in office, but the Three Wicked Step Sisters also told similar stories about George W. Bush and now Barack Hussein Playa Obama. Instead of giving direct evidence of infidelity, the low rent Examiner tells us that scary Michelle is even scarier than usual.

This is a Meanest Story of the Week nominee.