Love Bird Alert™ and On The Rocks Alert: Scarlett trapped in Sean's dirty divorce.

Publication: Star Magazine
Date: 6 June 2011

Star writes that Scarlett Johansson is trapped inside Sean Penn's divorce proceedings. In point of fact, the divorce from Robin Wright Penn was finalized last August, so she's really trapped in a nasty post-divorce situation.

I've been so creeped out by this story, I didn't do the math for the Sophisticated French Rule, which says that an older person may date a younger person if the younger party is more than half the elder's age plus seven. Sean Penn is 50 and Scarlett Johansson is 26, so this is a massive fail of the Sophisticated French Rule. To give you an idea of how bad this is, ten years from now when he is 60 and she is 36, she's still too young for him.

Ick.

Love Bird Alert™: Leonardo DiCaprio and Blake Lively.

Publications: People, Us Weekly, Weekly Life & Style

Date: 6 June 2011

Plenty of stories about a new couple this week. Leonardo DiCaprio is no longer dating supermodel Bar Refaeli, but has been seen in Cannes with actress Blake Lively. Here are the headlines.

• People: Blake and Leo - heating up
• Weekly Life & Style: Why Leo chose Blake Lively over a supermodel
• Us Weekly: Blake and Leo - a new romance

It's easy to think of Leo as a kid, but in fact he's 36. Since they are in Cannes, it's only fair to bring up the Sophisticated French Rule. Half his age plus seven is 25.

Bar Refaeli is 25. Blake Lively is 23. If this was a trade in for youth, it's a bad sign.