Kick a FRESH corpse, why don'tcha? Miss Elizabeth Taylor's family war explodes!

Publication: Globe
Date: 25 April 2011

You might have thought that dying would make Miss Elizabeth Taylor less interesting to the supermarket gossip rags.

You might have thought that, but you would have been wrong. The Globe wants us to know about the brouhaha over the fortune she left behind. Here are the sub-headlines.

• War over her $1 billion fortune!
• Armed guards surround treasure-filled mansion!
• Estate on lockdown!
• Win! Liz's autographed books & photos worth $$$

Well of course it's on lockdown! Those light-fingered villains from the Globe are making off with autographed books & photos worth $$$!

I swear, they will take the pennies covering your corpse's eyes if nobody is watching.