Thursday, September 23, 2010

Can Girls and Boys Ever Be "JUST FRIENDS?"

Living in a world rampant of hormones, we find ourselves coming into contact with those of the opposite sex. Personally, I have quite a few guy friends...I mean they're easy to be friends with and don't require a "necessary schedule for hanging out" quite like girls do. Yes I admit, being a girl with girlfriends is a 2-way relationship, and it's a lot more work to keep a girl friend than a guy friend.
I remember some situations throughout my entire 21 years where I would have a guy friend. Our relationship would slowly progress to a comfortable level where we were be open with each other, and yes, some flirting did take place. But that after a certain time period, I would find out that they ended up actually liking me! Being naive back then, in high school and grade school, I did not know how to react. It would be along the lines of: "WHY DO YOU LIKE ME!! I THOUGHT WE WERE FRIENDS!! HOW COULD YOU RUIN OUR GREAT FRIENDSHIP LIKE THAT!!" So then I would completely ignore the guy for some time, until they "un-liked" me. I admit I was cruel but I really didn't know what to do in that situation. Sadly, many of my friendships to these guys never recovered.
So I began thinking, maybe it's me that's giving off a certain vibe where these guys can think it possible that I'm actually into them. Maybe I'm too nice, too giggly, too flirty? Maybe I like attention from these guys, any attention is better than no attention right? But wait, that's sick, why should I be thriving on attention from guys I don't like in that way? HMMMMM...
This then brings me to the topic of there only be a friend barrier between girls and boys, is it possible? Here are what some people have to say:

"I think boys and girls can be just friends but you need to establish it from the beginning. In my case a lot of my friends are guys, they cause less drama, and they always keep me laughing. We hang out all the time and some have fallen for me, but i have a boyfriend and i told them as clearly as possible that i wont have any feelings that way for them and that they can remain my friends or not, it's up to them and i didn't want it to ruin anything. Things are really good with them now, we talk about everything and it isn't weird because we established that I want them as a friend not a romantic partner."

"Of course boys and girls can just be friend. Friendship is a meaningful thing. Being friends means you are there for each other, you talk, you hang out, sometimes you talk everyday, and sometimes you talk once a year, it doesn't matter, you're still friends."

"No. I have a guy who is my best friend, and I can tell you that there will always be other feelings involved. I love him more than he knows and I don't think he returns these feelings. I talk to him about the way I feel occasionally, but he doesn't want a relationship at all and I am ready for one. I'm so stuck at the moment because my friends don't understand that I love him...I can't leave the friendship."

"no, because you always hear stories that they ended up sleeping together after getting drunk or to cheer each other up. the Quran says that no man and woman can be in the same room together without the devil's company."

Though you may feel like it's obvious that girls and boys can only be friends, once your in that situation, you get to see how complicated it can actually be. The hardest thing that may arise is if one person is in a relationship, then the real question is where the boundary should be. Regardless, I believe that girls and guys can only be friends, but it depends how much of yourself you want to share with the other person. Just because your really good friends, doesn't mean you can expect to share your feelings, thoughts, etc with them without some kind of connection that may grow more romantically. If you do find yourself doing this, then you probably feel comfortable enough to open up yourself to them and who knows maybe even a potential relationship.

You Just Do You, Imma Do Me


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