On the rocks alert: Arnold and Maria split.

Publications: People, National Enquirer
Date: 23 May 2011

As is to be expected, the split in the marriage of Arnold Schwarzenegger and Maria Shriver made it to the front pages of The Only Ten Magazines That Matter this week, specifically People and the National Enquirer, the Luke and Darth of the tabloid world. Here are the headlines.

• People: Maria & Arnold Split
• National Enquirer: Schwarzenegger cheating scandal
  shocking reason Maria is divorcing Arnold

As usual, People stays calm and the Enquirer jumps to the worst conclusion, though it's hard to imagine an alternate theory.