Sunday, May 22, 2011

'The Real Housewives of Orange County' recap: Three Flat Tires And No Spares

Vicki breaks down, Fernanda and Tamra 

discuss drunken grope, 

Jim barks at Alexis to stand up 

straight like the Bible says.

Lynne alert! The banished Housewife was back, her mouth still hanging open from Fernanda's clumsy revelation that the trainer and Tamra had sloppy drunk-kissed over a year ago. There was hot gossip to discuss over drinks, but Lynne needed Tamra to talk real slow. "Are you guys an item now?" she asked with her drowsy slur. Tamra loves nothing more than being the center of attention, especially if she imagines the scandal makes her seem sexy. There may have been tongue, she allowed, but absolutely no nipple tweaking. Happy Mother's Day! She blamed the whole escapade on Charo's Brazilian Moonshine. "I was wasted, to the point I could barely walk," she said, as the camera zeroed in on Lynne and Tamra's giant boozy tubs of pink pineapple juice. You could be next Lynne! No way, Lynne has never kissed a girl, she's way too straight, entirely too confused about the whole lesbian thing.


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